No, this isn't quite like the old Arsenio Hall show...these are things that I never thought I'd say, that is, until I became a mother. Where the word normal takes on a whole new meaning and strange statements no longer really make me go hmmm:
Don't sit on your brother's face!!
You can't throw him on the couch like that.
Get off of your brother.
Please! Pick up the living room, now!
Someone's head is still on the floor.
If you throw that car, it will go straight into the trash.
Someone's nail is in my sink, come and get it! (ok--I'll explain this one! a fake nail that someone received as a gift, somehow got loose and kept ending up in my bathroom sink)
Bob the builder is still on the steps, why?
If I've said it once today, I've said it a million times....take the light saber out of the baby's face.
Stop pointing the gun at his/her face!
Don't shoot your brother/sister.
An airplane cut my foot. Really bad.
Oh, if there was a fly on the wall....I'd certainly have some explaining to do